Today I smashed and broke everything.
Emotionally not physically. I’m
not crazy, I’m not going to break things that I worked hard for.
What I mean is I broke everything in me that inhibits me from taking chances.
After all what do I have to loose? I will never know unless I try, I need to get back on the saddle. I’m inserting whatever pep talk mantra will work!
If you are ready for love and want it, seek it! Be thirsty, who cares, just be smart, thoughtful and know what you want.
Speaking of knowing what you want. I know exactly what I want but more importantly I know and accept that I will not get it all. I just want the important things that will bring me joy!
Having said that, I made an error on my last love connection. It was an error that cost me my first real butterflies in my stomach match. I was really into the guy and had cultivated a great rapport, easy conversations, easy on the eyes ( which is not important to me *eyeroll* I have depth).
Well here goes another piece of advice
Do not, I repeat do not swipe on a dating app when you’re tired, hungry, wined, frustrated, bored etc. If you are not paying attention or invested exit the app.
You don’t want to end up in the predicament I was in.
After all if you’re seriously seeking a serious relationship on any level shouldn’t you be sharp, be on your game and not be a sour grape?
Well I’m pretty sour. I swiped while watching “Snapped” a show about women who murder( and no I was not researching). Anyway I did not pay attention to his full profile details. I saw the eyes, slightly salt and peppered heading hair, awkward but lovable selfie. Gorgeous “no bodies in the basement” kind, genuine smile. Then BOOM! Yup, the app really does that BOOM! We matched. He liked me! Makes you feel like you won the love lotto!
T
hen the texting begins and in this case it was so easy. The conversation was mundane as one does because you see you don’t want to get into the nitty gritty details until you both determine it’s worth it. I made my move first as per the rules of the app.
The conversation by text flowed. Believe me even text conversations can be as awkward as if you were in the same room.
After several days of chatting we both felt interested enough to have a zoom date.
I was dressed only halfway, well I mean dressed nicely on top. He didn’t need to know that I was in sweats to be warm and comfortable.
We eased into conversation after the great revelation that his smile was just as great in motion as in a still picture.
We became a little more serious about what we wanted to share, future plans, goals and dreams and that’s when he mentioned to me that he had no children.
Hmmm?
I definitely never swiped on guys with no children or who ones who didn’t want any.
Ok, I was still baffled when he announced that he didn’t want any children.
Hello?
What?
What would I do with mine if this match escalated ?
Hide them in the closet when he was around?
The question was did he read my bio?
I asked.
“Oh, yeah kids that’s fine. I don’t care.”
Did he even want a relationship or just something casual as was the option on the app.
Going back on the profile that I had not previously read, it made sense...
Something Casual
Pet: Dog
Children: Don’t Want Any
And on it went listing everything I did not want for myself.
Well, you can see where this date zoomed off the road to die.
Worse things have happened but days of excitement of something new snatched.
I’m still on the fence debating whether I want to continue on this app. I’ve been encouraged to do so by those I’ve encouraged to join one.
If I do, I will swipe wisely while enjoying these baked grapes, yes baked grapes and home made ricotta cheese on toasted crisp bread.
Making your own ricotta is much easier than you would think and worthwhile. While you’re taking chance why not try something different? Baking grapes will change everything you thought you knew about cooking fruit!
Follow this link to try my Oven Roasted Grapes & Ricotta Fresca Crostini